How To Deal With Anger And Frustration
Before, you scroll down and pretend to read every word written here, know this: uncontrolled anger is one of the primary reasons for most people who have health issues and horrible relationship experience. If you value your relationship with loved ones and also want to stay in good shape, you need to this article.
Sometimes we all experience some circumstances that make us fume, pout, which may cause our blood pressure rocket. The truth is, so long you are living with other human beings, and even pets, we are bound to experience some not so exciting days. However, handling the situation is what makes the difference between you and the next person. It is the reason you think other people do not experience this same “terrible” day as you.
First of all, before you dive into reading, I need to congratulate you on this bold step you have taken. Not everyone knows anger is a problem that needs to be dealt with before it sucks the energy out you and your relationship. The following steps will guide you to a life of peace, love, and self-control, but they are not magical. You need to make a conscious decision to change, to be the wonderful person that you have always wanted to be.
Pause Before You Speak
Nobody talks in his or her right senses when angry, and the sad path is, whatever you utter cannot be retrieved. The best is to say “I am sorry”, which may or may not appease the hurt. Try as much as you can to hold on, think it through before you say anything. If you cannot handle it, leave the scene; take a break from the “what or who” is causing the anger. Come back when you are entirely in control of your emotions, and address it.
Furthermore, you can practice relaxation skills while you try to cool off; deep breathing exercises help us to keep calm, avoid uttering words that you may regret later. You can also choose to write in a journal, listen to music or do whatever can encourage relaxation.
Don’t Be Scared To Express Your Anger
Hold on, before you judge me wrong, I need to explain this here- most causes of anger is as a result of bottle up emotions you have hidden in the past. Pretending to be okay with some things, does not mean you have successfully gotten rid of the anger issue, it simply means you have postponed the fight to another day. Some peoples’ definition of staying calm is bottling their anger and frustration. This is not the best, because one day it will explode, and may ruin years of relationships.
However, you are not qualified to express your anger when you have not completed the first task on the list- Pause before you speak. Do whatever it takes to cool off; you can exercise, simply listen to music, watch a movie, or sleep. Do anything at all that will not cause harm to your health. Please note that it is not safe to drive while in rage, steer clear the highway until you are okay to drive.
Do Not Spend Time On The Cause Of The Problem Get Possible Solutions
A lot of us tend to spend more time regretting our actions that we fail to move on. The more we spend time on the cause of the problem, the more frustrated we become. Whatever makes you mad do not deserve your attention. In essence, it is better to find a probable solution(s) that will resolve the issue at hand, than pointing fingers on whoever is the cause of the problem. For instance, if your spouse loves working in a roughened environment, instead of yelling, arranging the room every time your spouse messes up the place, create a separate room for your space to work. Anger cannot fix anything; it may aggravate the situation even more.
Stop The Blame Game
Humans are fond of blaming everyone except themselves, when you find yourself in a not too funny heated conservation with someone, use the “I” statements. For instance, say “I am upset because I hardly spend time with you” do not say “You are always busy with one thing or the other”.
Count Your Blessings And Not The Problems
The more we consciously or unconsciously dwell on the negative aspect of people, the more the negative trait begins to materialize. Instead of dwelling on what they are not doing right, think of the good times, you have had together. Count the good times, learn from the mistakes, and think of ways to solve the problems.
Also, avoid holding grudges against the “offender”. Holding grudges will put you in one spot instead of growing to become a better you. The Bible knows this secret that is why it is written in Ephesians 4:26 “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.”
Be angry fine, but do not stay mad for too long.
Encourage Yourself: Get Help
For you to get help, it means you have to admit the bitter truth that you have anger issues; a lot of people find it difficult to admit, but knowing you have a challenge, is a pathway to finding solutions.
Seek help especially when your anger makes you do things that will hurt the people around you. Ask for the help of The Holy Spirit; He will surely come to the rescue. Read information on anger management, just as you have done now.
However, change is not magical; it is a gradual process that requires patience and determination to get the desired result. You may not see the changes now, but as you continue to take conscious steps, you will turn into a better person.