Despicable Me…

What if you did something dispicable, and you couldn't tell anyone, because you have accepted Christ in your life?

How does one define the word despicable? The meaning of despicable is deserving hatred and contempt. 

What if you did something you could never share with anyone? Something so reprehensible, so awful, you are better off keeping it to yourself.

The thing is this, you confess to be a follower of Christ, and yet you couldn’t even contain yourself. It was as if you were void of any understanding at all. You have committed the ultimate sin, and yet you must suffer in silence.

You know very well there isn’t a single soul you could tell, because of the judgment that would be cast down on you. At work, at church, and even family members.

So you sit in a daze often thinking back on that moment in time when your foot slipped and you found yourself in a detestable ordeal. Although you were enjoying the moment. It was yet wrong, wrong for so many reasons. Wrong because he wasn’t my husband, for he belong to someone else.

What if you thought you had it all in control, but this moment clarified the fact that you didn’t. You realized that you are human, and you made a mistake. How do you live with yourself? How do you see his wife and not behave differently?

After you have repented, what do you do? Do you share? Do you stay away from people? Do you fast and pray more? Do you dive head first into your bible more? Is repenting enough?

Are all my good deeds worthless now? I am disgusted by my actions, and have a distaste for this person now. Am I blaming him and not sharing fault in this matter as well? 

Why hasn’t the guilt gone away? Am I making too much of this matter? Maybe I am not making enough of it? 

Encourage Yourself: This is my conclusion on this matter. I was wrong, we were wrong. I have repented and need to totally give it to God to handle. I need to separate myself completely from these people and be in a covenant relationship with trusted individuals.

I must be accountable to God and devoted to my relationship with Christ. I must also shun the very appearance of evil. I must be the virtuous woman the Bible speaks about. 

No longer will I say despicable me, no longer will I hang my head down. I will commit to the singles group at church and minimize my gatherings with married couples. I will even seek professional help if needed.

I will have integrity and a better moral compass. I will speak life into my situation and not death. Most of all I will devote more time to God.

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