The Life Of Phil The Pedophile

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Pedophiles unfortunately hurt and cause extreme pain to those that are blood related, as well as others. The undeniable separation begins when trust and personal boundaries have been torn apart by the blatant dastardly evil voilations.

Sexual abuse, also called child molestation, is a form of child abuse in which an adult or older adolescent uses a child for sexual stimulation.

The term “sexual fondling” means the touching of the private body parts of another person (including the genitalia, anus, groin, breast, inner thigh, or buttocks) for the purpose of sexual gratification.

A pedophile is someone who has a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children of either sex. Not every adult who is attracted to children acts on their attraction. There are pedophilic offenders and there are situational offenders.

My name is Phil, yes I have done things that many would see as inappropriate, they might even say I am going to hell. You hate me for something I cannot control. Only God can help me and only God can send me to hell. You condemn me, but do you pray for me and all the others such as my self?

I grew up in a family that showed very little affection, my parents were divorced. I have a number of siblings who I get along with for the most part. I am still quite young and now married. Yes the woman of my dreams. I cannot say she knows my past in it’s entirety. Does she love me? “I believe so.”

As a youth I was very good at sports, I guess I can say football was my game of choice. Although I was good at many other things, I had a deep passion for football. I was closer to the top of the list rather than the bottom, when it came to my siblings. The girls out numbered the boys.

As I approached the age of 15, I had a special fondness for girls even though they were my sisters, one in particular. She was built just right in my eyes, I am about 6 to 8 years older than she. I have lost track of the years, especially since we don’t communicate at all. She lives in another state, I cannot recall the last time I say or spoke to her. I’d probably be right if I said it’s been over 30 years.

The urge to release myself in her, was one I could not fight, and my mom seem so obviously to what was going on in the house was a good thing. Just maybe she would have tried to choke the life out of me. But it was a good thing she was so wrapped up in her own life, that she missed many things that occured in the family home.

Upon graduating high school, I married shortly afterwards. Not to the woman I am with now. Had many kids, but can’t really say I have a great rapor with many of them. Unfortunately I couldn’t resist my daughters. I don’t say this with pride, for I know this is a terrible thing I have done. I would like to think there is help for such a person as myself.

The amount of times I cheated on my wife cannot be counted. I Phil, have a sex addiction! When she chose to leave me, I grew angry, and bitter. She did manage to leave, but not before I could afflict some harm on her. My sexual premisscuity caused her to be affected with various sexual diseases. For which I have never repented. She would never want to speak to me at this point. My ways caused her great pain and suffering. At one point she sought after self esteem classes because of the damages. The one thing I made her promise was never to leave me, which she confesses she tried to uphold, until she was at an unbelievable breaking point.

So I married after my first, and my second, even after my third wife. I needed to have someone who could and would love me, in spite of myself. That person is God. When no one else could, God does. I can only hope for total forgiveness from all of my victims, as well as my Savior. If I die and go to hell, I would deserve every bit of the fire and brimstone that I would be thrushed into.

To top all of the sexual things I did, I also had an anger problem. I punched holes in the walls, I abused my loved ones verbally. So when the scriptures says there is no good thing that dwelleth in me, it is absolutely true. So my wife and I go to church together now. It appears that there is hope, but only God knows what He will do with me.

I never considered myself a pedophile, and as a matter of fact, I am not. I AM A MONSTER.


Attachment to a Child

Praesidium states that 47 percent of child molestation cases involve a perpetrator who already knows the victim. This could mean that the child molester is a family member, friend of the family, personal acquaintance, babysitter or member of the victim’s church.

A Change In The Childs Behavior

One sign that parents and caregivers should look for is when another older child or adult is extremely attached to just one child. He may shower the child with gifts or single him out to engage in special activities such as trips to the zoo or rides in the car. The attachment goes above and beyond a normal friendship or relationship; it may develop into a regular routine. Another indication of possible foul play would be if the adult or older child only wants to take that child as opposed to making it a group activity. The molester makes the child feel special and gains his trust through gifts, fun activities and appreciation.

There could be sudden changes in a child’s behavior that may indicate inappropriate activity. Survivors and Victims Empowered states that a child molester or pedophile often manipulates the child mentally. The child may not come out and verbally tell her parents she is being molested. The child molester convinces the child that she is also at fault for the inappropriate behavior and she will get in trouble if she tells her parents. Acting out sexually on other children, acting out in school, detachment from peers, isolation and emotional outbursts are all warning signs there may be an underlying problem with a child predator. Resisting being around the predator could also be an indication.

Detachment Around Adults

Another sign of someone who may be a child molester is if they focus more of their spare time on wanting to be around children rather than other adults. This may indicate that they are fixated on the emotional or sexual high that they receive from being around or near a child or victim. They may spend more of their time trying to relate to being in a relationship with a child as opposed to someone their own age.


Encourage Yourself:

1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Acts 10:43 – To him give all the prophets witness, that through his name whosoever believeth in him shall receive remission of sins.

Romans 3:23-26 – For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;   (Read More…)

Isaiah 43:25 – I, [even] I, [am] he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.

1 John 1:8-10 – If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.   (Read More…)

Acts 2:38 – Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Romans 10:9 – That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

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