Why men pressure women to get what they want and expect to get it.
There is often a certain level of pressure on the part of men to get their women to give them what they want- which in most cases may be sex. It is true that men also want to be validated, loved and cherished and their ultimate need may not be sex, however, there is a need for sexual release so they need sex too and if they don’t get it, they end up feeling rejected and unloved and may end up pressuring the woman. Here are some of the reasons men pressure women to get what they want.
• They have a higher sexual drive
Although, it is believed that women have more sexual needs, especially when it comes to getting to that point of satisfaction. Men however usually have higher sex drive. Men are moved by what they see, women are moved by what they feel. While a woman demands some level of emotional security before getting intimate, men can have sex with no form of attachment. There is a buildup of sperm and a need to release.
This is not to mean that women can’t have casual sex too but studies have shown that women in a committed relationship need to feel loved by their partner before having sex with him. They want to hear him say it and show kit before they do so.
Men however don’t need that much work. They believe sex is an integral part of any relationship and they demand the same from their women. Arousal in men comes in high amount. They then end up pressuring the woman just so they can satisfy their urges.
• They measure love by it
A woman need to be told and shown that she is loved. A man need sex to know. Most men believe that agreeing to have sex with them whenever and often is a way of showing you love them. You often hear phrases like ‘if you love me, you won’t say no’. Sex is not a measure of love. Women know that and that’s why they feel emotionally drained even after sex in an insecure relationship. Men however see sex as a sense of security and need you to prove it to them by giving in.
• A need to feel good about themselves
It is often believed that a man’s prowess is measured by how many women he is able to conquer. Men now believe they have to prove they are strong by having sex. They need it to feel good about themselves and end up pressuring their female counterparts to get it. They want to have something to say when talking with friends, they need to know how good they really are in bed. This is actually a factor that has contributed to women faking orgasm. They know the man needs to feel good so what better way than to let him think he was able to pleasure them.
According to a study carried out by researchers from Bridgewater State University, it was shown that men that stared more at their partner’s body were more likely to pressure them into having sex. The moment a woman’s body becomes what a man measures her by, pressure sets in. One, there is a certain pressure on the part of the women to measure up and secondly, on the part of the men to explore. Men who constantly stare at their partners’ body are more likely to sexually coerce them. When such a situation occurs, there is less attention on respect and communication and more on sexual needs and fantasies.
A woman that feels she is just a body to look at is usually unwilling to satisfy her partner sexually. The man then applies pressure to get the woman to give in and fulfill his fantasies. He may even blame the woman for getting him aroused with her body.
• Lack of understanding of the word ‘Intimacy’
When men think intimacy, they think sex. Intimacy in any relationship isn’t just about sex. There are many ways to be intimate: sharing and talking about deep things, sharing hobbies together, building trust, sharing your most painful moments, these are ways to express intimacy. You can have sexual intercourse without being intimate. If there is no communication, trust and respect then sex in such as relationship is just casual sex. Most men don’t understand and are unwilling to take the time to make the woman feel truly intimate before introducing sexual intimacy.
• Pressure from Peers/Society
Men are under pressure themselves. They are pressured by their mates who have had sexual experiences and talk about it as though it is a major achievement. They feel it is expected of them to measure up and prove that they are ‘manly’. They then in turn pressure the women in their lives to help them satisfy this longing. Men need to understand that being mature is not about how many women you have managed to have sex with.
Maturity is actually measured by the level of control you have over this sexual need. Unfortunately, this is not a popular truth.
• Pressure from the woman herself
So we have discussed why men pressure women. However, it is important to note that a woman can also allow herself to be pressured to satisfy a man. A woman that thinks the only thing she has to offer in her relationship is sex and that it is the only way to keep her man will definitely feel pressured to do so. You often hear stories of women where they say things like ‘he will leave me if I don’t have sex with him’.
No one is allowed to pressure you to do anything. Sex doesn’t keep a man. If you don’t value yourself and know that there is more to you than just your body, you won’t move beyond this feeling.
A man’s ultimate goal in life is not sex but is definitely a need. As a woman, if you measure your sense of worth and your ability to keep a man by it, you end up putting yourself under undue pressure. Men need to make their women feel safe and understand that intimacy in a relationship isn’t just sex.