Why Do Men Struggle After Saying “I Do”, But Still Aim To Please God
It is one thing to get married and it is another to stay married, there is, however, a stretch between getting married and staying married, that stretch is a timeline of experiences in various forms. Many people start out thinking they would have a fairy tale kind of marriage where everything is always rosy and everyone lives happily ever after. It is not bad to want a marriage like that, but the real “happily ever after” comes with a lot of struggles, trials, and temptations. The ability to face each struggle together as a couple depends on the foundation the marriage was built upon.
What happens to the man after saying “I Do”?
There is a common notion that the women folk have a lot acclimatizing to do when they get married, true as it is, it doesn’t the women, and the same can be said about the men too. The moment the man says “I do”, he begins a whole new phase of his life, he has to give up some habits and embrace new habits, now he assumes the role of the alpha male, making decisions that are not selfish. You know how they say “with power comes responsibility”, it becomes “with I Do comes responsibility”.
After childbirth, there is that tendency for a decline in intimacy between most couples, its either the child or work taking the most of his Wife’s time, he also has needs that need to be attended to, at that point temptations and suggestions come from all angles, there is sexual tension; suddenly women other than his Wife want him, an old ex, some of his single female colleagues, his married neighbor whose husband is away e.t.c. A thought tells him “a little promiscuity won’t hurt” but then he remembers he can’t because he has to please God, then the thought tells him “You can watch some porn and use some lube to help yourself, that way you don’t have to cheat” strong as the temptation is, he still has to shake the thoughts off because he cannot defile his body. Sometimes there is a heated argument where the Wife is wrong, he is tempted to use derogatory words, but can’t because there’s a godly conviction in him that it is wrong and would only aggravate the whole situation, so he just apologizes instead. Finances are dwindling and the Wife has become the nagging type, he is so tempted to compromise and get involved in a shady deal or just run away forever, but he won’t.
A godly man gives up a lot of things he derived pleasure from while he was in the world and as a bachelor; he can no longer hang out at the bar for drinks with friends and colleagues, he cannot visit strip clubs again, flirting stops, no random sex partners, no visits to the red light districts, no more visits to the casino to gamble, no more shady deals at his work place, no more alcohol at home when he wants to feel good, no more pornography, no masturbation e.t.c. He is not giving up these things just because he is married, no! There are so many married people who still engage in the aforementioned activities, but the godly man is giving them up because he wants to keep his Wife, keep his home and please God.
Pleasing God as a married man has a lot of sacrifices, but the truth of the whole thing is, those sacrifices are worth it.