How to overcome the fear of being alone, even though you are in a relationship takes much work on the individuals part. It comes down to being content with one’s self, still caring about your spouse or loved ones; but having a dividing line. Never feeling the need to be in the presence of others. One would figure when you live with someone, there is no way, you could possibly be lonely; but that isn’t true. My husband and I hardly ever had meaningful conversation. His excuse was, he was a total introvert, and that I needed to just accept that fact. It took many years before there was a change.
We as women feel the need to dicuss all of our problems. Seeking guidance from your elders at the church is fine. But self help books and courses will aid in this situation much better. As long as you apply the applications giving to you. Many times we read or listen to different literature and audio tapes/ebooks but refuse to apply what we’ve learned. Ultimately going to God for His direction should be our first choice. It is only when we confide in others, and they are unable to give us what we need, that we then turn to God. Scriptures say “In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy path” (Proverbs 3:6)
Most importantly we must be patient while waiting God’s response. Which might be one of the hardest things to do. In this walk with Christ, one must have patience, long suffering, and a positive attitude toward God’s way of doing things. It will show great maturity as to your characteristics of the Christian, you proclaim to be. Scriptures also say “Wait on the Lord and be of good courage, and he shall strenghten thine heart: wait, I say on the Lord.” (Psalm 27:14)
This is were believing God’s word and trusting that He will do, what He says he will do; comes into play. The Bible states that God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? (Numbers 23:19) Wait, I say on the Lord!
If counseling is what you desire to do, continue to pray concerning your situation and by all means be selective what you share. God is all knowing, so wisdom says, you do not have to share every little detail of your situation to the elders, or friends and family. Pity is not what you seek. You want sincere concerns, and much needed prayer from those you share with, along with sound advice. Only seek advice from those who truly have a love for God and his people. Never share because you want attention.
When you are lonely, and in great need for companionship. You are at your most vulnerable state. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour. (1 Peter 5:8) The best solution to keep the enemy from having his way in your relationship, or the lack there of. Will be to show yourself friendly toward your spouse. To listen more when he or she is speaking, to be positive at all times, to schedule events the two of you can do, in order to create more conversation or togetherness.
Being completely satisfied with your inner self, loving who you are, and knowing who you are, are all vital points in our lives. Without these important factors, we are just like the hamster, spinning our wheel but never getting anywhere. Unhappy and just going through the motions. It seems as if only three out of 10 people are happy in their lives. No one can give you that inner happiness. It is something you must come to grips with on your own.
I remember when I went through this same situation, I felt like I needed someone there all the time. Things had to go a certain way, or otherwise my mood would change for the worse. I knew I had some issues, so I begin to get counseling. Whereas before I felt the need to share my business with anyone who would listen, until I was hurt. Which taught me one of the best lessons in my life. You absolutely cannot share all your personal business with people, NO! Not even the church people. Again God is all knowing, and all seeing. He knows what you are going through. Simply cast your cares on God, for He hears and knows what you are experiencing.
Even though you might have doubt whether or not God hears, or cares. Know this one thing! If you doubt God’s ability, then you have lost the battle. You must first believe God is who he says he is. Ephesians 3:20 “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.
Ask your self, what is it that causes you to feel alone? Is it because your husband is just not attentive? Or is it an inner issue? Once you have figured out what the root of the problem is, then follow the above steps to better yourself. Reading scriptures, praying, meditation, positive influences in your life, and setting short term goals, you can easily achieve. Never associate with negative people, or partake in idle senseless conversation.
Encourage Yourself, speak life! and not death. Remember you are, who you, say you are!
ENCOURAGE YOURSELF: Pamper yourself, love yourself, and embrace your inner beauty!